I See Dead People

Here at Turner Towers we are fans of crime thrillers, detective shows and coroner based shows like Silent Witness, so we are quite familiar with the common, and rather overused trope of early morning joggers and dog walkers finding dead bodies in the woods, so when we got Lilly we both joked about how that will be us.

With that in mind, I figured out a way to never experience that gory finding - wait, and go out for Lilly's first walk around 9am so that early risers get the chance to find the bodies. In the 2 years of having Lilly I have basically trained her with my 'stay up late, get up late' lifestyle, to not need a wee first thing.Clever I know, so we should remain body-finding free.

As I mentioned before, Lilly is spoilt; she gets a walk in the morning, another bigger one before lunchtime, another biggish one in the late afternoon, and a nightime pee wander.

So a week or two back were out wandering in the very large woodland park close to us in the afternoon, on a beautiful warm day, and she'd had a good run about, play in the stream to cool off and we were on our way back. I think she must have done one of her vanishing tricks for a few minutes, so when she returned I'd put her back on lead to head off home.

Next thing, she headed sharply into an off-track area that runs alongside a slightly stagnant river overflow area.  As she never really goes in this bit I figured she'd spotted a squirrel in the long undergrowth, but the lead didn't keep going like it does if she is chasing, it suddenly stopped as rapidly as it started.

I was curious and headed quickly to the spot to find out what she'd found.

Yes, you've guessed it, there was a motionless body of a man lying amongst the nettles.

My mind went straight into "Shit! Oh my god, it's happened.", then immediately switched into detective mode "Is he alive?"

There was one thing that was keeping me from getting really het up, the man was wearing a hi-vis waistcoat which looked like he may have pulled it over his head to shield from the sun, but Lilly was wandering around the body sniffing and probing, and there was no movement. Shit!

Time really did stand still, or it was more like, went into ultra-slow mode, and in those few moments Lilly had managed to make her way to his head, and had rootled her snout under the aforementioned hi-vis, and I could see her wet nose was on his face.

Still no movement. Shit!

With this unveiling I saw that his skin was pink, a good sign, so I stood over him and began loudly asking "Hello.  Are you OK?  You need to wake up." In those protracted few seconds I hadn't managed to get Lilly away, and she was still at his face, and her 'wet nose on mouth' movement must have finally got through and he moved!

After more talking to him to try to make him move again, he rolled off his side, onto his back, and opened his eyes.  What a relief!

I got him to sit up, and he said something, and I realised two things - he seemed like he was three sheets to the wind, and that he was foreign and didn't have the best grip on English. One of these would have proved tricky with communication, but both together proved almost an impossibility for me to find out what had happened.

Was he actually drunk, or had he hit his head and this was concussion?

Had he been attacked and left for dead?

I decided he needed to stand so that I could assess his state, so I was doing my best to encourage him up, whilst also trying to ask him what had gone on.

I got a name which started with a J and was tricky to say, but before I attempted it he said "I am Jack", so that's what I went with, and the next thing he said was along the lines of "My friend died yesterday." and then said "I'm OK" and waved me away, and went to lie back down.

At this point I could see he had no injuries, but that he was very inebriated, obviously drowning his sorrows about his friend, and there was no way I was leaving him in nettle-filled undergrowth, next to water, in a remote part of the biggest park in Bolton, during a heatwave.

If I did there was a real possibility that the following day Lilly would've actually found a real dead body!

At this exact moment a couple came round the corner, saw what was happening, and came over to help. Between us we got him slowly up, and got him acclimatised to being vertical. He started to become a lot more with it, and after a few minutes he headed off down the path.

Once he looked better, the couple carried on with their walk in the opposite direction, and I followed the man, still concerned that he would just lie back down and go back to sleep in the middle of the field.

My concerns were confirmed when only a few paces later the chap started to wander off-piste, heading across the field towards the flowing river. I was having none of it, and headed straight over, and linked his arm and steered him back to the track and escorted him to a bench. He sat for a while, and I was talking to him trying to find out where he lived, but with his limited English I wasn't getting anywhere.

I realised that there was no way I would be able to get him out of the park by myself, and that it probably wasn't wise as a lone woman with a dog in tow to even try, as whichever direction I went it would involve being in dark, lonely parts of the forest with a stranger.

Luckily around the next corner of the track there is an area that people go to when it's hot to enjoy dips in the shallows of the river, and when I looked, there were a few men sat around, so I got Jack back up and we headed towards them.

Jack seemed a little more cognisant by now, so I sat him down near the guys and explained the situation to a sensible looking chap, and he agreed to keep an eye on him and make sure he didn't wander off until he seemed alright.

Through all this, Lilly, who usually can't keep still for more than ten seconds without a whinge or two, was the best dog in the world. She was so patient, and gentle with him, giving him cuddles everytime he sat down.

Jack was only a few steps away from water when he passed out, so he was incredibly lucky, and I have no doubt if Lilly hadn't found him, Jack would probably have ended up in hospital with heatstroke, or worse. Lilly got extra treats that night, just like every heroine should.

That's all for this month, let's hope that next month's walks with Lilly are much less dramatic, and if you were thinking of getting a dog, hopefully the potential to find things you don't want to find hasn't put you off, just remember these wise words: Make sure you're never the first dog walker in the morning!